he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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