those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
