Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
