Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
