the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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