Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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