life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
In America we eat man semen.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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