It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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