Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
