I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
