Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
