I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
