he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
