I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
