I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
