meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
