i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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