this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
