I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
