I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize