I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
