Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize