i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
