you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
