I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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