Dual....:-)
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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