I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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