I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
