that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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