she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she smelled like a LAN party
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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