I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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