I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
