Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
