My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I deserve this hangover.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
