I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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