My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
