it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
pray to the hookup gods
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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