At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
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