So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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