Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize