Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
did you just send me my own nude
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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