I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
