so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
