Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Only a mothe r could love this liver
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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