hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
