My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
