me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
