the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
