bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
