I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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